Pilgrimage

Every year my mom does a 25 km pilgrimage, in thanks of the many good (and sometimes bad) things that happen in her life. My mother is a religious person, not one of those super strict types but religious nonetheless. Growing up we went to church every weekend, we laid our shoes out for Jesus on Christmas Eve (this is a tradition in Portugal lol) and we were always, always taught to say our prayers before bed. 

As the years have gone by my views of the catholic church has changed greatly and as a result I no longer go to church every weekend. Even though my beliefs in the church have shifted I am still a very spiritual person, I pray every night, I believe in God and although I don't go to church frequently I will still go for special events (weddings,baptisms etc.). 

So, when my mom said she was doing her pilgrimage on Saturday I decided to join her. In case you're wondering what a pilgrimage is, it's a journey of moral or spiritual significance. It is usually a journey to a shrine or other location of importance to a person's beliefs and faith. 

Over the last few months my mental health has been very up and down, I truly believe that the worst of it is finally over (fingers crossed) and I dedicated my own pilgrimage to that (among other things). 

This walk was by far one of the most challenging things I have ever done. I workout almost everyday, so I am a very active person and this walk was seriously tough. 25 kilometers in rain, wind and cold weather is no joke. At no point did I want to quit though, every time I started to feel a little pain I just kept reminding myself why I was doing this and it really worked.

Since I do workout frequently, I was curious to see how many calories I would burn during the walk. I can openly admit that I did not eat the healthiest meals the entire walk but honestly it seemed like there was a hole in my stomach because I was so hungry the ENTIRE walk, the rest of my night and the next day afterwards haha. 

 I am so happy and proud that I did it and am already planning to join her next year, I've even recruited Brent to do it with us (he is 100% atheist). Doing things that are so physically challenging and accomplishing them gives you such a sense of strength and determination. The body is an amazing thing. 

Happy Monday friends and I hope that you have a lovely week! 

happiness

What is happiness? 

That new car? A new job?  Those new clothes? A trip to Costa Rica? While all certainly are things that help make us happy, I don't really believe that they truly do make you happy. 

Happiness is something that needs to be worked on every. single. day. it is like a workout for your soul. It doesn't come easy but with a little work you can find it. I started reading the book "Happiness by Mathieu Ricard" and it has inspired me to be better. Oh boy, I seriously sound like a quack, HA! But seriously, why is it that we put so much effort into bettering our bodies, our jobs, our lives but we don't want to better our minds or our souls? 

I focused for so long on my life goals that I left behind something really important... me. I left me behind. I had tunnel vision on my future, on what I wanted, what would make me happy that I completely forgot to focus on the present and on myself. I'm now focusing on me. Body, mind and all. I'm treating myself with kindness, I'm looking deep inside and asking myself the real questions. "Who am I? What am I good at? What do I need to improve? What do I want? Why do I want it?" You know, all the "important" questions. 

Will I be happy if certain materialistic things happen in my life? Yes. I won't sit here and lie. I will be happy if certain goals are achieved, if my hard work pays off BUT I am also learning to be content with what I have NOW. If those goals aren't achieved it isn't the end of the world, it's just another building block to get to where I wanna go. 

I ask you to take a few minutes every day to focus a little bit on your mind. Meditate, talk to it, do whatever you gotta do to bring you some peace. 

Life is temporary, so make the best of the time you got! 

pressure

I find that ever since I started blogging or instagramming I have followed certain blogs and bloggers. I had always wanted to be just like them. I would want to talk like them, dress like them and just be "cool" like them haha how lame is that? It's funny how even in your 20s you can idolize people and make them out to be something bigger than they are. 

25 is around the corner for me, literally three months away (WHAT?!) it's completely terrifying but also so satisfying. I finally feel like I'm coming into my own. I feel like the authentic me has been shining through and she's taking no shit. Not even from my own early 20 year old self ;) I have come to the conclusion that I'm not the type of girl who will ever have an instagram colour theme or relay a perfectly dreamy life. Seriously portraying that shit is HARD work and I hate editing photos and quite frankly I just don't care anymore. Not every aspect of my life is all white and brightly contrast and perfectly staged. It's just not. 

My life is messy, crazy and pretty scattered. That's how I like it. I have never wanted to put out a "fake" image, I want to be 100% me because I'm not perfect. My life isn't perfect and in this day and age I find that everyone tries to pretend that life is perfect. I mean, I get it. I usually only post the fun stuff and good stuff in my life but thats because when I'm having an "off" day I'm not in the mood to be on my phone or much less photograph it but I also don't fake like my life is always rainbows and butterflies. 

All I'm saying is that yeah I'm not the best blogger. I can go weeks without posting, I ramble on a lot, my photos aren't dreamy and hip, but I guess I never really started the blog to become "online famous" (although, I found myself at one point wanting that badly, that's a post for another day) but I really started it as a love letter to my future self. Something that I can look back on and remember all the fun stuff I did. Life moves at lightening speed and sometimes you forget things and I just want this to be my reminder. Even if it is online for other people to see, it's mainly for me. Lately, I've started remembering this again, this is for ME and I thoroughly enjoy it. I want to keep the pressure off myself and enjoy this again and not feel like I need to put off a certain image, I want to be wholly and completely me and I think that's okay. 

Have a happy week friends!

xo