just do it

Week 16 guys. I'm on week 16 of the Kayla Itsine's program and holy crap it feels good!! I am so unbelievably proud of myself for getting this far and there is no stopping me now. It's crazy how long it has taken me to get to where I am, although I don't have the six pack abs like a lot of girls get after finishing the 12 weeks I do have a new sense of pride in myself. I actually like myself now. 

I have never been kind to myself, I mean we are our own worst critic right? I feel like my confidence has soared ever since I finished week 12. Although, I still had my "bad" weeks they didn't stop me from working out. I set a goal for myself this year, to be the best, healthiest and strongest me. You know what? It's been working out. (what a pun!)

 I find that since finishing school and not having to be somewhere, or be forced to do something (schoolwork, assignments etc.) I have turned to be just a tad bit lazy. I work with my mom so anytime I need a day off I easily get it. This year things have changed, I still have a LONG way to go but I have changed. I schedule in workouts and I GET THEM DONE. I've thrown my excuses out the window and it has worked for me. 

I even joined a women's baseball team! It has been tough to get used to HAVING to be somewhere weekly but every time I get to the field and start playing, I remember why I joined. I'm doing something different, making a change, getting out of my comfort zone and having a great time with my friends. 

I urge you to get out of your comfort zone, you don't necessarily need to join a team but do that workout you have wanted to try, go to that class you have always wanted to do, JUST DO IT. Our lives are so temporary we need to make the best of them. Be the best you, that you can be. Only you can make those changes, so get up and do them. 

Get off your bum and move. I believe in you :) 

QOTW

"and like the moon,

she had a side of her 

so dark, that even the stars 

couldn't shine on it; 

she had a side of her 

so cold, that even the sun

couldn't burn on it" 

-abigail j

Hello my lovelies.

It has been a long time since I have posted a quote of the week, I saw this one today and it totally suits how I am feeling. 

I am very good at faking that I am doing great, so good in fact a lot of my close friends can't even tell if I'm fine or not unless I tell them. I know I could just reach out to talk to them, they'd listen, they always do but I hate being a burden, especially when I feel like my "problems" or feelings really don't have much reasoning. 

I suffer from anxiety. Not severe anxiety but anxiety, nonetheless. It's always there at the pit of my stomach, bubbling and wanting to take hold of my entire body. It's a sitting monster in my head whispering stupid nothings into my head. It makes me feel helpless and sad and can turn any good day bad in a snap of its fingers. 

I find that I can go months without it and then all of a sudden its there and becomes an unwelcome guest who never wants to leave. This last month that guest has stuck around and it's the most frustrating person in the entire world. This "anxious Kathy" just seems to want to hang around and she really has no reason to be here. My life is not bad, I don't have any troubles, I have a great family, an amazing fiancé, good friends, all the things you need to be happy I simply have. Yet, for some absurd reason I suffer from this internal demon who just won't screw off. 

I am constantly reminding myself day in and day out that life is good, that it's okay and that I'm okay. It's a daily fight. I am grateful that this anxiety doesn't stop my life. There are some who can't leave their homes or even their beds. There are days that I definitely don't want to but I'm a fighter. I won't allow it. I won't stop my life for this unwelcome guest. I keep on trekking. I push through it every single day and I'm damn proud of it. Life is hard for everyone. Everyone has their own battles and I urge you to be kind, to be understanding and to be present. Sometimes a call, a hug or an understanding ear is all that someone needs to feel okay again. Sometimes that person may sound like a broken record but thats okay. They need to talk about it, get it off their chests and that will most certainly make them feel better. I promise, I know from experience. 

I know that this anxiety will ease and hopefully soon she'll finally pack her beds and head out, she'll probably say "see you later" and thats alright. I am stronger than she ever will be. I have a support system that helps me greatly. I am lucky. I am blessed. 

I am bigger than my anxiety. 

What I'm eating

Since ending BBG 1.0 I feel like I have seriously plateaued and it's been messing with my head. I look in the mirror and get frustrated that I'm not seeing changes fast enough. I've been trying to remind myself that this is a journey not an overnight success. 

I have decided to give "clean" eating another try, one cheat meal a week and the rest will be all nutritious and healthy meals. I have to admit I have been doing fairly well but as always there are a few hiccups along the way ;) 

Here are a few things that I've been eating lately! Pictured above is a homemade salad with homemade turkey burgers on whole wheat english muffins. 

We've got some pho served with hummus and mary's original crackers. 

Smoothies have definitely become a staple, I find that they help me fit in more of the veggies that I need. 

Mixed veggies (snap peas, zucchini, red peppers, bean sprouts & mushrooms) and basmati rice. 

And of course I can't forget my go-to breakfast. Avocado (with sriracha) toast, an egg and a side of fruit. This will forever be my favourite breakfast! 

I don't really like labelling food "clean" or "dirty" because to me food is food. There is some that is obviously healthy and good for you and some that is not so good for you but still tastes damn good. I find that balance is the key to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. If I'm eating well everyday, a nice greasy burger and fries every once in a while won't hurt me. 

I hope that you have a wonderful weekend babes. 

xo 

BBG DONE

Before (January) - After (March)

Hey Babes,

Well it has once again been a few weeks since I last posted. I don't really feel all that bad because lets be real, we all expected this out of me ;) Although, I have been terrible keeping up with the blog I have been kicking fitnesses ass. 

Last Friday I finally for the first time since I started using this program (back in 2014) I finished the whole damn thing!!!  Weeks 1-12, the first guide was finally done by ME! I finally pulled through and  I'd be lying if I said I didn't get emotional when I finished it. I was so overwhelmed by my accomplishment that I teared up and gave myself a pat on the back. Hell, I deserved it. This program is no joke! 

I am currently on the second guide now, week 14. I feel like if I stopped to take a break that would completely derail my progress. This week I started a "cleanse" I am sticking to strict clean eating, that means no processed foods, sugars or alcohol. Today is day one and it's been going pretty well. I find that if I fill myself up on real foods my body doesn't crave or binge throughout the day! 

I am finally feeling so happy with myself and my accomplishments. I have been feeling rather emotional and under the weather lately but I am slowly beginning to learn how to manage my stress. 

My biggest issue for sure is stress management, once it gets to be too much I can get really overwhelmed and it feels like my body just shuts down. BUT I have stayed mentally strong, I am stronger than my stress and anxieties. I remind myself every day to take it day by day, live in the present enjoy what surrounds me and really count my blessings.  

I hope that you all have a fabulous week! Let's embrace this new week as a fresh start to make the changes we want to make, it's never to late to start over. This is the only life that you have, so live it with happiness, strength, health and lots of love!

xo