getting it together

Are you feeling sad, alone, depressed, frustrated or anxious? That's okay because you're not alone. I know you may feel alone and scared and that no one loves you but I promise you that you are loved. You are wanted. You are beautiful. How would I know? Well, because I think that you're beautiful, I love you and I care about you!

You may think that I'm a complete weirdo and that's okay! I am weird but I also care about people I have never met before because I know what it's like to feel broken. Sometimes you fall apart and it is SO hard to put yourself back together and thats okay! As long as you're making an effort that is all anyone can ever ask of you. 

These last few months I have felt so beaten down, I have allowed my demons to take control of every aspect of my brain. I have beaten myself up and told myself so many hurtful and shameful things. Things that I KNOW aren't true. My demons are making it all up and in the process I am losing myself. But you know what? I am fighting them. I am fighting the asshole side of my brain and telling it that enough is enough. I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am NOT useless and I am cared about. And do you know who has made me believe all these things? Myself. 

I have stopped telling myself that I am not enough and its helping. 

There is a saying "Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening," you are always listening to what you're telling yourself. So if you look in the mirror and constantly think that you are not beautiful, you will begin to believe that you aren't beautiful and that is just horse shit. Life gives you the experiences that you yourself think and feel are worthy of receiving, so start believing that you deserve the world and you will receive the world. 

Every single day, tell yourself that you're beautiful, that you're worthy of this life, that you are wanted, that you are useful and smart and I promise that slowly you will begin to believe yourself. 

Let's start building ourselves up and stop tearing ourselves down. We are all perfectly imperfect. And we all deserve to love ourselves. 

Online Book Club // Station Eleven

Hey friends!

So, I'm thinking about starting an online book club. Anyone can join in! If you happen to be reading the same book as me just make a comment in the comments section! We can be nerds together and go back and forth and talk about what we like and don't like about the book! This is not so official because there will be times when I just don't have the time to read a book but every time I do happen to be reading a book (any book!) I would love feedback on what others think about it! 

This week I started reading 'Station Eleven' by Emily St. John Mandel, I am only on the fifth chapter and already liking it. It is a bit of a slow start but I have been promised that it's worth it. It's based in Toronto and is an apocalyptic novel. It kind of freaks me out but lets be honest here what doesn't scare the crap out of me?! 

If you're reading or have read this book, what are your comments? Let me know! Have a wonderful day!

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QOTW

As you may have noticed I have been away from the blog for a few weeks. In an earlier post I mentioned how I have been having a bit of a difficult run. I have been in a rut that I have never experienced and I have had feelings that I don't really know how to deal with. I was feeling that I was drowning and I just couldn't pull myself out of it. 

I am happy to report that I am better. I am not 100% but I am slowly working my way back up. The building blocks were torn down and now I am slowly piecing them all back together. I have anxiety every once in a while but its a fleeting feeling and as soon as I feel it coming I remind myself how far I have come and go talk to someone or write in my journal. 

When you feel completely torn down, it's so hard to pull yourself together but I am so thankful that I have family and friends who understood me and helped me. If I didn't have the help and love that I am surrounded by I don't even know what I would do. 

I am blessed. My life is blessed. My life is good and every morning I remind myself that.

Remember: 

Motivation Monday

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The other day on Instagram, I saw a post talking about the 'Fed Up' documentary and thought to myself, I should probably watch that. Since I had today off I figured it was the perfect time to sit down and see what the fuss is all about, holy crap. 

This documentary is all about how the food industry is literally killing us. 

I, for one never even imagined it was as bad as it is. Since I am skinny and don't gain weight easily I haven't really cared to read the nutrition labels, yes I am careful to not eat a lot of processed stuff because I'm not naive enough to think that it's good for you. But after watching this documentary it was kind of disturbing how much crap and sugar is actually put into foods that are labelled "healthy". 

What I don't understand is how is it legal? Sure, Michelle Obama may promote healthy eating and exercise but why is nothing being done to really shut down these huge corporations who are putting poison on the shelves? Money. Thats what it all comes down to, the food industry is a billion dollar business and as much as the government hates to admit it they're kind of running the show. 

My sister and I were never raised on McDonalds, boxed pre-made foods or sweets. Sure we had junk food once in a while, we were never deprived but we never really cared for it. When I was in my high school years my junk food consumption sky rocketed, I was eating McDonalds, pizza hut, taco bell, you name it on a daily basis. Like I said, I don't gain weight easy so I didn't know how harmful that crap was and I honestly didn't know better. As an adult, I still don't gain any weight but I do watch what I eat. I obviously indulge every once in a while because although I truly believe in healthy eating, I also believe in balance and having balance is the only way I know I can continue a healthy lifestyle. 

I can understand why living a healthy lifestyle can be difficult, especially since when you go grocery shopping the shelves are stacked with the stuff that we crave but I truly think that if you find the time to watch this documentary it will be an eye opener. It may not make you completely stop buying the snacks and products that we are told not to eat but even if it helps you make a change in how much of it you eat, I think thats amazing. 

I know for sure that I am going to decrease the amount of processed foods that come into my home, more than I already have. It's a slow process and one that takes time and effort but I want to live the healthiest and happiest life I can and I think food is a great place to start! 

You can watch the full documentary HERE.