travel diary // cleveland

Oh Cleveland, Oh Cleveland... What to say about Cleveland. 

Were it not for the company we had I don't know if I could really say that Cleveland was super duper fun! All it really had to offer us was the Rock and Roll hall of Fame and some pretty decent restaurants. 

It was absolutely FREEZING the entire time we were there and I got some pretty awesome wind burns on my face, I could've sworn we almost got hypothermia on friday night looking for a liquor store, ha! 

We found it kind of strange how everything closed super duper early. I mean they had closing times at 6-7pm on a saturday. There was no shopping done whatsoever because we could not find any stores in walking distance of our hotel so, Catina and I kept it locked down and didn't shop! 

Besides all the non fun stuff we did have a pretty good time, there were many laughs and good times so I can't complain. Brent had a great birthday (which is super important) and he absolutely loved the rock and roll hall of fame, it was so neat to see all the amazing celebrity memorabilia. We spent a good chunk of our saturday there walking around (in the warm!!!) and reading about the history of Rock and Roll. I'm so glad that it wasn't a bust. I know that Brent had been wanting to go there for years. 

Going out for drinks at the Winking Lizard, which may I add had the BEST service. Our server was unreal and hilarious. He made our dinner so much fun and even brought Brent out a nice big sunday and sang him happy birthday nice and loud, it was awesome. 

The Rock and Roll hall of Fame, it looks like it could be small but don't let that fool you there are SIX floors of rock stuff and its pretty cool. 

On the left was Brents favourite showcase, we stared at it for a good 10 minutes. It was pretty cute seeing how excited he was about it. Slash and aerosmith memorabilia, what more could he want!? 

This man is unreal. I love him so very dearly. What an amazing blessing I have, I can't wait to marry him! 

Thank you guys for the great weekend. Although we suffered some cold and a lot of walking in it, I am so glad we had such a fun weekend and I can't wait for more adventures! Happy birthday babe, I hope that 26 is your best year yet, love you dearly. 

xo

Twenty-six

Check out that handsome mug.

That man right there is twenty-six today, that's twenty-six years of pure goodness in this picture. Where do I even begin... I met Brent when he was twenty and its amazing how much he has grown to be the amazing man that he is. He is everything I could ever want in a partner and more, he is my rock, my supporter and my everything. 

I am so unbelievably lucky to have someone who is such a hard worker and a provider. I am sort of an all over the place personality and he just gets me. He allows me to be who I truly am without any judgement and that is the best kind of person you want to have around you. 

We are off to Cleveland today to celebrate this amazing man, we will have plenty of drinks and many laughs. I am so in love with you mr. swance and I am so excited to marry you. Here's to twenty-six and many many more! 

I love you to the moon and back baby! 

xo 

weird talk

Hello hello! 

It's very often that we have guests come to our house. I'm talking almost every week or weekend we have someone spending the night at the house. Obviously those guests shower in our home... Where am I going with this conversation you ask? Well I want to talk about shower products today. 

This evening as I was showering I had a weird thought come to me... What products do my guests use when they use our shower? I have showered in many friends and family houses and I have to admit it's a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. I absolutely love looking at all the different shampoos, conditioners, face washes and body washes you may have. It even takes me a few minutes to go through all of them and decide which one I want to use. 

I am the kind of person who loves pretty packaging, lovely smells and if it's organic thats a bonus. When I go out shopping for shower products those are three key ingredients to me buying a product, oh and it also has to be budget friendly. When I'm in Winners I beeline it for the clearance section of the beauty section and I always find just the best products! 

I think that is probably one of my extremely weird quirks but if there is anyone out there who feels this way please speak up. Weird shower users UNITE, please!? 

Only two more days until our trip to Cleveland, I am so excited! If anyone knows where we should go or what we must see, let a girl know! 

Have a happy hump day!

xo 

QOTW and a little Essay

Hello friends! 

I have obviously been absent from the blog lately. I haven't been feeling like myself and have been going through a difficult time. It's hard to put it out there because I honestly don't even know how to explain how I'm feeling but I truly believe that in order for me to feel better I need to write it out.

For years I have had mild anxiety and mild panic attacks here and there but nothing that I couldn't control. I try to be a very positive person, I am always there when a friend needs to be picked up, always available to give you some advice and always trying to be happy but lately this just isn't the case. 

I do not want to define what I have as depression because believe me I know that it is a serious mental illness and what I am going through is no where near as severe as some unfortunately suffer. I am very privileged and I cannot complain about my life but here I am feeling defeated and tired of these stupid feelings. 

For a good few weeks I have been walking around like a zombie, I feel a huge weight on my chest and the urge to cry at any moment. I don't really understand why but the feelings are there. 

I am very hard on myself. I will nit pick and judge every little aspect of myself, yet I know that I'm great and a little conceded too ha! I don't really understand my way of thinking, it's like one part of my brain tells myself that I'm awesome and funny and pretty and theres the other side that tells me I'm not good enough, I'm a failure and I'm ugly. The asshole side of my brain has been getting the best of me. 

I am not writing this out because I am looking for attention. I am putting this out here so that when I finally break free from this ridiculous rut I can look back and remember how I felt and how far I have come because I know that these feelings do not define me.

Every morning and every night I remind myself that my life is beautiful, filled with love and that I am worth it. My heart goes out to those who suffer from severe depression and severe anxiety. I can't begin to imagine what they go through but I can say that these past few weeks have been more than enough to show me that it is a serious issue. My family has been so supportive and Brent has been unbelievable, anytime I need to lean on them they have been there for me. I am so grateful to have such a strong supportive system and it makes me so sad to know that there are people suffering on their own. 

If this blog happens to be seen by anyone going through a difficult time please remember that you are loved. If you need anyone to speak to I am always here to talk, you are not alone.

I have made myself a promise, I will prove to myself that I am better than these feelings and I will shut the asshole side of my brain up, once and for all. 

Here's to working on myself, for myself, by myself. I will overcome these demons. I know I will. 

Thank you for listening to me and I hope that you truly have a wonderful weekend! 

home sweet home

At last I am finally home! 

Three weeks was a long time to be away but I had the best vacation and had a great time planning our wedding. It was so nice being away but its even nicer to be home with Brent, it's funny how much you take your regular life for granted. It's even funnier how you miss stupid little things from home, like the coffee from your coffee maker, your big brown couch, your small little office and waking up in your own room. I am so glad to be home. I haven't started working yet but I can tell you that I don't really miss that just yet... ha. 

As a beautiful gift for my homecoming mother nature decided that she wanted give me a "special" gift, a special weather warning that is... up to 5cm of snow and ice?! Really!!!! I hate winter lol thats probably the ONLY thing I'll miss about Portugal, no damn snow! 

Anyways, I'm off to work and I hope that you all stay safe around here! I'm counting down the days till spring. Hopefully it'll come quickly! Have a great day!

xo 

QOTW

What would I do? There is a list of things that I would do and I wish I had the balls to just do it. I don't know why but sometimes I feel like there is something in me that was born to just say eff it to the conventional way of life. To the whole live in one place and find a career kind of life. I feel like I was meant to travel the whole world, live with nothing but the clothes on my back and Brent by my side. I wish that both he and I could find it in ourselves to just drop everything and go but obviously its all easier said then done and as easy as it is to dream of it its easier to talk ourselves out of it. I mean money is a huge issue here, can we just win the lottery already?! 

Here are five things on my list of things that I would do if I weren't afraid. 

1. Pack up all our stuff and travel the world

2. Learn how to surf (sharks and being in open water terrify me) 

3. Really let some people know how I feel (I am very open and speak my mind but people would be surprised with how much I really do hold back) 

4. Take more chances

5. Completely and utterly let myself be myself. I'm slowly getting there and accepting my weirdness but with years of bullying comes years of keeping it in. 

Let me know what yours are in the comments section! I'd love to know! 

xo 

see ya later

My trip has come to an end! It's a bittersweet day, I am happy to be going home and be reunited with Brent, my sister and friends but I am so sad to leave this beautiful country and my WHOLE family behind. It's always so sucky but this is life and I will be back in no time :) 

This trip has been so amazing and so good for my soul. I have had so much time to think about my future, what I want and what I'm looking forward to. I have also had the time to really count my blessings and think about all the good that I have in my life. Sometimes taking a break from the real world is needed, when life gets so busy you feel like you can hardly breathe its so nice to just put a huge stop sign up and just relax. 

I am so happy that I had the time to reflect about life and everything that comes with it. I feel that when I'm home sometimes I am just too busy to think and I hate it. I need to take more breaks like this, not three weeks long but you know what I mean. When you get the chance to really think about how good you have it, it pushes those stupid negative demons so far down and muffles their noises and lets you feel free. When life gets so busy and you have so much work it's so easy to have negativity and exhaustion cloud your judgement about how you feel about life, so I am glad I had this time to really appreciate it.

Although this trip was filled with travelling and planning for the wedding, it has been very relaxing. I feel at peace with my wedding plans, the big stuff is all done I officially have a ceremony location and venue. I can finally breathe and quit stressing and now think about how I want to decorate. Ha! I know that'll cause another headache but I'm just going to enjoy this relief. 

Dear Portugal, thank you thank you thank you. I have loved all your beautiful cities, your architecture, your amazing food and most importantly your extremely fattening mouth watering delicious pastries. I am so happy that Brent and I are getting married here and you will always be so very special to me. I love you and thank you for always being SO good to me. 

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and that your week is a great one too!  

See you soon Canada 

xo