20.9.14

time for change



It is 1:10 pm on a Saturday and I am still in bed and I'm not even mad about it. I have not had a legit lazy day in months and one where I'm all alone? It's been years. I am not one who bodes well with being alone, I usually kind of hate it. Too much time spent thinking is just a recipe for disaster when it comes to me but not today. No, no, not today ladies and gents. I have been longing for a solo lazy day for a very long time, which to me is super surprising. I have spent this morning laying in bed, listening to music and making lists. 

I have been reading 'The Secret' for a few weeks now, I'm taking er' real slow. I have been reading and taking breaks and really trying to think hard about my happiness and what kind of life I have been attracting. Since I started reading this book, my mind set has changed immensely. When I start to think of anything just slightly negative, my sub conscious kicks in and points myself to a more positive thought. It's a work in progress but over time I believe I can achieve a more positive life. There are so many 'wants' that I have in my life and I have always thought that they're out of this world, to high of a dream but you know what? WHY? Why can't I have those things? I don't know why I have felt I don't deserve all these luxuries, when I do. So, today I made a list of everything I want from this life and to be blunt, I think I'll get em'. 

A few things on my list include: I want to know I am good enough (this is on a number of different issues), I want to travel the world and make new adventures, I want to live the happiest ever after with Brent and I want to own a big old fashioned home with a ton of natural light. That is only four bullets of my two page long list but it's just a small example of how broad that list is.

I can and I will achieve my dreams. Just like you can and you will. If anyone tells you otherwise, you tell them to just shove it. With all the worries in life and how busy I become, I feel like I turn into a robot who is just living in my body but I want to change that. It's time to face things head on and make the best of this life. It's the only one I have, it's time to live it. 

Now, who's with me? 



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