14.8.14


PREACH.

Okay, I don't usually swear on here and those who know me, know that I have a TERRIBLE potty mouth but anyways, that's besides the point. Sorry for cursing blah blah blah. 

I legit couldn't agree more with this though. As soon as I stopped giving a shit about things that I should't have been stressing about, it's like life went, "HEY! THERE SHE IS! WELCOME BACK TO AWESOMENESS AND HAPPINESS!" 

Seriously. I was going through a very rough time, poor Brent, my two BFs and family, bless their soul... They all sure put up with a lot of my shit. 

Over a month ago I finally decided that it was time that I took control of my life, that I stopped moping around and sulking and just being stupid. I was stuck in the past, in a life that was long gone and the people in it were gone too. I am definitely someone who takes any cruel comment, hurtful action, etc. to heart. I often remember that action and leave the wound open in my heart for a loooooong time. I try real hard to forgive but I hardly ever forget. 

Now that I have actually tried to change myself and the way I think about certain things I couldn't be happier. I really hope I'm not jinxing myself here but I believe its mind over matter. Healthy mind healthy life, right? I stopped giving a fuck and life opened its doors real wide and said "here I am, embrace me!" I have SO many good and beautiful things in my life and its a shame I spent a good portion of my year dwelling on shit that shouldn't have mattered anymore. Sure, from time to time the mind wanders into territory it should definitely stay away from but shit, I'm human and thats okay. 

Becoming "selfish" was the best damn thing I ever did. I have been focusing more on me, taking care of my body, mind and soul. Dammit! It feels real good! I hope that anyone out there who is dealing with ex friends, ex boyfriends, ex anythings, sees this and knows that once you allow yourself to heal and you pick yourself up and literally say "FUCK IT!"  it gets better! I promise you. 

Life isn't perfect but it is beautiful and every single morning I try really really hard to remember that. 

xo


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